When you work from home it's rather pleasant when the phone rings. It could be an exciting new project, a favourite client or a friend with a spontaneous lunch invitation.
Not so any more it seems. My phone still rings but it's increasingly someone calling for my computer or my washing machine. The laptop clearly has friends all over the world, particularly in the sub continent, concerned about its welfare and adamant that I need to take (it goes without saying, expensive) action right away to put right something that I, in my techy ignorance, have failed to notice. Boy these mates of my computer don't give up either, they like to call it every couple of days, usually just as I'm serving dinner.
It started off with people but when that strategy failed, they adopted a new tactic, they get a machine to call. That's even more irritating. I answer the phone in a nice, friendly manner only to be greeted with silence and then a bloody recorded message.
Now the washing machine, tumble drier and dishwasher are getting their own calls, my white goods have a better social life than I do. Only the range cooker is less popular than I am.
I've taken either to ignoring the landline when it rings or to answering and not saying anything, presuming it'll be a machine a few thousands miles away calling for one of my appliances. Unfortunately a couple of times it's been my mother or a friend and they've been somewhat disconcerted to hear someone pick up and then breathe irritatedly down the phone at them.
It appears even my mobile isn't safe. Twice this week I've had calls from guys wanting to make me rich and handle my money for me. Yeah right. What they don't know is that it only takes the words 'equity' and 'investment' for me to glaze over.
I'm the most risk averse person on the planet when it comes to my dosh and there is no way in hell they have any chance of getting their hands on it. The more financially astute people around me (that's everyone) roll their eyes in despair at my insistence on tucking my money away in the safest place I can find. 'You'll get a better return if you put it here, take out this bond, buy these shares' they say in frustration. I'm sure there are some lovely bankers out there but, in my opinion, there's a very good reason why bankers rhymes with something beginning with w......
So these cold callers are whisting in the dark when they call me. Do they honestly land clients this way, surely no one in their right mind is going to do business like this? I always used to wonder at the conservatory companies that set up camp by the exit in the DIY stores and would accost you on your way out. A conservatory is hardly an impulse buy now is it? You've just popped in for a paint tester pot or a bit of shelving, how likely is it that you're going to lash out several thousands of pounds on an extension between the check out and the car park?
I was brought up that it's not nice to be rude so I haven't resorted to swearing yet, although the machines have heard a few choice words. I've taken to quietly putting the phone down and walking away leaving them waffling on to themselves.
