I came across an online article yesterday where parents were fretting about whether they dared to show their faces if their teenager was having a party at home. The general tone implied that staying in the house was heavy-handed and they should leave the kids to it.
Apparently parents don't want to be seen as killjoys or, horror of horrors, embarrass their offspring by staying in the house and keeping an eye on proceedings. It appears there's an etiquette to teenage parties and that centres around the parents not being there although being close enough just in case. The article suggested popping to a nearby cinema or maybe around the corner to the local pub or restaurant so you'd be in the area but wouldn't spoil the fun.
Are these people completely mad? I've recently experienced a teenage party from hell and all I can say is don't do it but if you do, don't step a toe outside your house and, for god's sake, don't leave them alone for a minute. A riot hose on standby is also a good idea.
Last year the elder son had a music night at home for his 16th birthday with about 15 friends, take-away pizzas, music up loud....and it passed without a hitch. He planned to do the same this year. I'd put in place all the precautions I could think of, the main one being to keep quiet about his party and not, under any circumstances, to mention it on Facebook or any other social network.
Somehow word got out and we were inundated with gatecrashers, already flying on Lambrini and god knows what else by 8pm. A house and garden full of drunk teenagers is not much fun and I was seriously considering turning the garden hose on to get rid of them but a more measured approach from a less confrontational adult than me eventually worked. Knowing my luck that night the hose would have been on the sprinkler setting anyway.
In the time it took to get rid of our uninvited guests they managed to steal five bottles of champagne and a bottle of vodka, break the downstairs loo, pee in the shower in the boys' upstairs bathroom, smash pictures I'd stacked in my bedroom leaving glass scattered all over the carpet, climb on my neighbour's Mercedes and rip off the number plate and, the piece de resistance, steal my son's iPod, BlackBerry and watch. They were trying to get his laptop and Beats headphones but a canny friend of his overheard and hid them. Apparently 'jacking' is now the in thing, go to a party and nick as much as you can...
I caught a couple trying to sneak into the spare bedroom and threw them out despite their 'we only want to talk' routine, yeah, right......
With the help of the teenage network, by the next day I'd got the iPod, phone and watch back and the girl who'd caused the damage to my neighbour's car had been traced and paid for the damage.
This all happened with adults in the house in a rural market town in Wiltshire. There's a seismic difference between 16 and 17 and it's alcohol. I later discovered that some of the girls who'd looked at least 18 in their body-con dresses and skyscraper heels and who were out of their heads were actually only 14 or 15.
A friend told me that someone she knew had invited 20 kids and 80 had turned up so we got away relatively lightly. I'm still seething about the champagne as it had been given on special birthdays and to celebrate special moments and I know it ended up being sprayed around a la Formula One or necked and then chucked (up).
I did my fair share of drunken partying as a teenager and I have dim and distant memories of throwing up in someone's flowerbeds. The police turned up a few times but it was always because the music was too loud, not because we were trashing someone's home.
So my advice to any parents thinking about letting their teenager have a party at home and worrying about spoiling the fun by staying around, is this - hire a hall.
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