We Three Kings.

There's nothing like a Nativity to put you in the Christmas mood. The wonky cotton wool beards, the shepherds clobbering each other with their crooks when they think no-one is watching, the music teacher pounding enthusiastically on the piano and hitting a range of notes few of which are the right ones, the pushy parents elbowing their way to the front row.

It's been a milestone year as it was the 10-year-old's last Nativity as he goes up to secondary school next September. He went out on a high as he came home the night before this week's performance to announce one of the three kings had pulled out and he'd volunteered to take his place. Even better was not only was he a king but he had lines, well, ok, five words, but hey, better than nothing.

This was a big moment as previously his best role has been innkeeper number three (no lines but a head shake at Joseph and Mary) but mostly he's just been in the choir. This has partly been because he's long been convinced that if his teachers knew his middle name was that of one of the starring roles (no, not Herod), he'd be in tinsel sparkly wings before he knew it, so he's kept quiet.

So this momentous news of major promotion was greeted with lots of 'well done you' and 'how lovely' and then followed swiftly by the panicked thought 'bloody hell, how am I going to whip up a king's costume by 6pm tomorrow?' Somehow my usual fall back position of a dressing gown and tea towel wasn't going to pass muster.

After an almost sleepless night I'd virtually resigned myself to chopping up an old but rather loved red velvet party dress and was starting to hyperventilate at the thought of creating something even vaguely passable when the little son casually announced on his way out of the door to school, 'oh I forgot to tell you, they've got costumes at school Mum so you don't have to make one'. Kids, gotta love em.

The Nativity was everything it should be. Mary held baby Jesus upside down for most of the performance, then dropped him when she realised and tried surreptitiously to turn him round, Herod's cotton wool beard was so enormous only his eyes were visible, the soloists clearly thought they were auditioning for X-factor, the pianist played 'Away in the Manger' in the wrong key and had to start again.....wonderful.