There it was, this year resplendent in shiny bright red satin and lace, the item of underwear that will condemn countless unsuspecting men to a frosty Christmas and it'll have nothing to do with the weather - the basque.
Last year it was black satin and gold lace but this Christmas every male can treat the woman in his life to the hooker look.
I lingered and watched as men strolled through the store and did a double take when they spotted the display, which had cunningly been placed as prominently as possible, well it's hard to miss blood red satin. From the attention it was getting, there's going to be a lot of women opening their parcels on Christmas morning to find something red, shiny and tight inside.
Undoubtedly there are women out there who can carry off a crimson number and are happy to do so, and good luck to them, but there will be far more whose heart will plummet into their boots if they unwrap their present only to find a red satin basque inside.
The thing is guys, we women do love beautiful, sexy undies including red, but trust me on this, we like to choose them ourselves as we'd really rather not look like something out of a soft porn film or Jordan. We also like our underwear to fit and how many of you have any idea of our bra size? So you're on a hiding to nothing as you'll invariably get the wrong size, whether it's too small or too big, it'll pee us off either way.
So, you men out there who have the knack of buying gorgeous underwear for your girl, in the right size, congratulations because you are a rare species indeed.
But the main reason why you men should step away from the slapper basque right now if you want any chance of a merry and harmonious Christmas is this - we know you haven't bought it for us, but for you. I'm sure there are women who are happy to strut around trussed up like a turkey in red satin but, come on guys, we're not fools, we know what the basque is for and it's not for wearing under our work clothes or for a trip around the supermarket.
I'm sure there are many women who love being given underwear for Christmas, I'm not one of them. As far as I'm concerned it's the lazy option for men who can't be bothered and smacks of last minute panic. I grew up with a wonderfully generous but hopelessly disorganised father who'd rush out late on Christmas Eve to buy my mum something. He plumbed the depths with a TV one year. He hit a winner when he bought a necklace she'd mentioned liking but blew it when he bought the same thing for the next two years.
I'm not saying all men are hopeless when it comes to buying presents, there are men and women who are fabulous at choosing gifts and equally there are men and women who are rubbish. The worst presents I have ever been given were an ironing board (from a man), Swingball (from a woman) and a can of de-icer (man).
A friend was distinctly chilly with her husband until well into the new year after he gave her three bottles of bubble bath one Christmas. 'He got them on a three for the price of two offer and he didn't even bother to get three different ones,' she ranted.
So step away from the basque guys and head on over to the cashmere, you'll have a much happier Christmas if you do.
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